Hello All,
You may have remarked a lack of posts over the past month or so. My original intention was to post monthly updates, however my recovery has been quite uneventful and consequently, didn't really call for multiple posts.
I'm just over 2 months post-op and I'm well on my way back to feeling 100%. Although I'm still quite a way away, I'm shocked and relieved at how easily and quickly my recuperation is passing.
As far as physical changes such as my swelling go, there isn't much to report. The changes are a lot less drastic and started to slow down around the one month mark. To other people, I just look normal, but since I know my face well, I can tell where I'm still swollen and puffy. The only problem I have with this is the fact that my jawbone must just be uneven as on one side, my jawline is a lot more prominent and looks more swollen than the other and it's quite visible in photos. Obviously this is a minor thing and in the grand scheme of things, is something I can live with!
Numbness is still a big problem for me and my bottom lip and majority of my chin are still fairly numb and tingly. My surgeon is still optimistic that feeling will eventually come back, but at this point I won't be surprised if full sensation never returns. Again, in the scheme of things, this really doesn't matter. My gums are still fully numb but I don't realise it anyway, and I wouldn't be shocked if that feeling never came back either.
I'm back to eating normally which is the best feeling ever! It's still difficult eating crispy foods or large foods (eg: big sandwiches) as I can't yet open my mouth more than two fingers width. I have put the majority of the weight back on that I lost over the course of my liquid diet, which is annoying but life goes on...
I suppose the most important thing is I feel amazing! My confidence has soared like I never would have imagined. I have a new job that I start tomorrow, bought a new car and getting my life together after finishing university. For the first time, I smile for the camera rather than turning away and I'm so happy with my bite now and how my teeth are looking. My orthodontist is confident that my brace work is progressing quicker than normal and that it won't be long before my braces are coming off!!! She has estimated 2-3 months so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that!
One thing that's helped massively over the course of my recovery has been speaking to people who understand what I'm going through - whether it be general surgeries or specific jaw surgeries. I will update again soon with maybe a brace-free face!
Friday, 5 August 2016
Friday, 24 June 2016
3 Week Post-Op Update
I can't believe it's already been 3 whole weeks since my surgery. I was convinced that these past weeks would have dragged like never before, but here I am, 21 days later and doing fine!
I anticipate this will be a long post, so strap yourself in and prepare for a ramble. The first few days are a total blur because I hardly slept, so the days merge into one and I just found myself making very brief notes on my phone. So I just decided to copy these notes to keep this post as succinct as possible.
(I also apologize for the state of these photos. Obviously, I don't look my best and a couple of them are quite bloody and unpleasant)
(I also apologize for the state of these photos. Obviously, I don't look my best and a couple of them are quite bloody and unpleasant)
3 Hours after Surgery
2/6/16
Hard but no pain. very numb. Swelling starts. No bruising yet. Didn't manage to eat anything besides a spoonful of soup. No appetite. No energy but couldn't sleep sat up. Not wired together so could talk but keep drooling. Used the morphine drip 3-4 times overnight. Antibiotics through IV was unpleasant but couldn't swallow pills. Salt rinses were revolting and made me throw up each time.
Was visited by the surgeon who informed me of the surgery's success. I got the usual spiel about how the swelling and numbness will get worse and may last for several months and in the case of numbness, some may never come back at all. Apparently the nerves in my chin were in awkward places but the surgeon managed to push them out the way without damaging them, so he is optimistic that the feeling will eventually come back.
Was visited by the surgeon who informed me of the surgery's success. I got the usual spiel about how the swelling and numbness will get worse and may last for several months and in the case of numbness, some may never come back at all. Apparently the nerves in my chin were in awkward places but the surgeon managed to push them out the way without damaging them, so he is optimistic that the feeling will eventually come back.
Swelling 5/10
Pain 2/10
Day 1
3/6/16
3/6/16
Hardest day. Threw up a lot of blood at visiting and felt so ill. Couldn't stop crying which made the congestion worse. Couldn't breathe or sleep. Unhooked from morphine because was making me sick. Pain was manageable but starting to get quite bad. Swelling getting worse and still no bruising. Surgeon happy with how everything looks. Tried to get toothbrush around mouth - regular toothbrush too big to fit around my teeth. Only managed to wash legs. Managed a bowl of soup for tea with the assistance of my Dad and 4 boxes of tissues.
Swelling 6/10
Pain 4/10
Day 2
4/6/16
4/6/16
Antibiotics really kicking in and pain getting less intense. Surgeon was very happy for me to go home as long as I ate, so felt a lot better immediately. Managed to eat a yogurt for breakfast and got a smaller toothbrush around my mouth. Mum came before lunchtime and I was home with my plethora of antibiotics and painkillers. Felt ill at home but my friend visited which cheered me up. So far, visitors are more emotional than I expected. Managed a small amount of soup for tea. Eating with baby spoon and drinking from baby tippy cup.
Swelling 5/10
Pain 3/10
Swelling 5/10
Pain 3/10
Day 3
5/6/16
Felt horrible today. Had no sleep at home and kept waking up at the hospital ward round hours. Finding I'm swollen more in morning but when start I talking and moving my mouth and jaw, it gets better. First real food of mashed potato and mashed fish finger, which was heavenly!
Swelling 5/10
Pain 4/10
5/6/16
Felt horrible today. Had no sleep at home and kept waking up at the hospital ward round hours. Finding I'm swollen more in morning but when start I talking and moving my mouth and jaw, it gets better. First real food of mashed potato and mashed fish finger, which was heavenly!
Swelling 5/10
Pain 4/10
Day 4
6/6/16
First post-op appointment with surgeon today. Took the stitch between my eyebrows out. Very happy with my progress and don't need any elastics yet, so a few more days of freedom. Swelling mostly in cheeks and upper lip and pain coming to the back of my jaws. Bruising starting to show under my chin.
Swelling 6/10
Pain 3/10
6/6/16
First post-op appointment with surgeon today. Took the stitch between my eyebrows out. Very happy with my progress and don't need any elastics yet, so a few more days of freedom. Swelling mostly in cheeks and upper lip and pain coming to the back of my jaws. Bruising starting to show under my chin.
Swelling 6/10
Pain 3/10
Day 5
7/6/16
Easiest day so far. Very sunny so sat outside all day. Pills getting easier to swallow. Swelling keeps fluctuating but hopefully at it's peak. Pain is minimal and mostly upper lip and gums which hurt. Smiling and laughing getting easier the more movement I have in my face, but still painful.
Swelling 6/10
Pain 3/10
7/6/16
Easiest day so far. Very sunny so sat outside all day. Pills getting easier to swallow. Swelling keeps fluctuating but hopefully at it's peak. Pain is minimal and mostly upper lip and gums which hurt. Smiling and laughing getting easier the more movement I have in my face, but still painful.
Swelling 6/10
Pain 3/10
Day 6
8/6/16
Still managing to keep up with my mouthwash and rinses. Keeping my stitches as clean as possible. Managed to eat very sloppy scrambled egg for tea which was a very welcome change to my usual diet. Already seeing a difference in my weight. Managed a short walk around my estate to get some exercise. Starting to sleep on less pillows than before. Swelling mostly in cheeks and under my chin. Bruising getting worse down my neck.
Swelling 4/10
Pain 3/10
Day 7
9/6/16
Washed my hair for the first time today. Quite difficult and needed Mum to help. Feel a lot fresher for it and have more motivation to move around the house. Starting to break out in spots around my chin, probably because I can't stop drooling. Swelling settling down and bruising is starting to fade. Still very numb around chin and bottom lip. Finished my course of antibiotics!
Swelling 4/10
Pain 2/10
Week 2
10-17/6/16
Elastics on at my second post-op appointment on day 8: 1 across my front teeth and 2 at the sides. In the same appointment, I had my first set of post-op x-rays taken and got to see where the plates were and the alignment of my jaw. I have 4 plates in the top jaw and 2 in the bottom. Starting to feel discomfort from my braces and teeth moving again. Most of my swelling has settled and I finally look human again, just a chubby one at that... Left the house properly for the first time for a day out. Eating without chewing getting easier as I'm getting used to it. Am able to slurp down macaroni pasta and overcooked rice with the blessing of my surgeon. Managing to drink through a straw which makes drooling less of an issue. Able to sleep pretty much flat again.
Had my lowest moment this week too. Felt very run down and had a couple of days where I felt like crying. Felt very lonely and hoped more people would have been to see me over the week but most of my friends home from university next week.
Swelling 4/10
Pain 4/10
Week 3
18-24/6/16
Feel a lot more like myself this week. Much happier in myself and how my face is looking. Swelling has gone down significantly and the pain is reduced to mere annoyance from my elastics pulling at my braces. Eating is pretty much normal as long as it's all mushed to within an inch of it's life. Smaller appetite so eating much smaller portions. Craving all types of crunchy foods which makes the mushy food so much harder to stomach. All my stitches have fallen out now and brushing my teeth is a lot easier. I can open my mouth to a fingers width so a lot more freedom when speaking and not so much mumbling, which is very satisfying! I get the odd spasm in my jaw when I take my elastics off to do some jaw exercises, which is uncomfortable but reassuring me that the feeling is coming back. My lower lip has sensation coming back but my chin is still pretty numb and oddly the area under my right eye is beginning to go slightly numb. My jawline is becoming more defined and I'm finally able to see my new smile as it will be when the swelling has fully gone. I have to say, I'm not one to be vain but I just can't stop looking at my new jaw in any reflective surface... I'm still in disbelief that I've actually done it and my new profile is just what I hoped for.
Swelling 3/10
Pain 3/10
So that's me for now. I will update next after my one month post-op appointment on July 4th.
Until next time.
8/6/16
Still managing to keep up with my mouthwash and rinses. Keeping my stitches as clean as possible. Managed to eat very sloppy scrambled egg for tea which was a very welcome change to my usual diet. Already seeing a difference in my weight. Managed a short walk around my estate to get some exercise. Starting to sleep on less pillows than before. Swelling mostly in cheeks and under my chin. Bruising getting worse down my neck.
Swelling 4/10
Pain 3/10
Day 7
9/6/16
Washed my hair for the first time today. Quite difficult and needed Mum to help. Feel a lot fresher for it and have more motivation to move around the house. Starting to break out in spots around my chin, probably because I can't stop drooling. Swelling settling down and bruising is starting to fade. Still very numb around chin and bottom lip. Finished my course of antibiotics!
Swelling 4/10
Pain 2/10
Week 2
10-17/6/16
Elastics on at my second post-op appointment on day 8: 1 across my front teeth and 2 at the sides. In the same appointment, I had my first set of post-op x-rays taken and got to see where the plates were and the alignment of my jaw. I have 4 plates in the top jaw and 2 in the bottom. Starting to feel discomfort from my braces and teeth moving again. Most of my swelling has settled and I finally look human again, just a chubby one at that... Left the house properly for the first time for a day out. Eating without chewing getting easier as I'm getting used to it. Am able to slurp down macaroni pasta and overcooked rice with the blessing of my surgeon. Managing to drink through a straw which makes drooling less of an issue. Able to sleep pretty much flat again.
Had my lowest moment this week too. Felt very run down and had a couple of days where I felt like crying. Felt very lonely and hoped more people would have been to see me over the week but most of my friends home from university next week.
Swelling 4/10
Pain 4/10
Week 3
18-24/6/16
Feel a lot more like myself this week. Much happier in myself and how my face is looking. Swelling has gone down significantly and the pain is reduced to mere annoyance from my elastics pulling at my braces. Eating is pretty much normal as long as it's all mushed to within an inch of it's life. Smaller appetite so eating much smaller portions. Craving all types of crunchy foods which makes the mushy food so much harder to stomach. All my stitches have fallen out now and brushing my teeth is a lot easier. I can open my mouth to a fingers width so a lot more freedom when speaking and not so much mumbling, which is very satisfying! I get the odd spasm in my jaw when I take my elastics off to do some jaw exercises, which is uncomfortable but reassuring me that the feeling is coming back. My lower lip has sensation coming back but my chin is still pretty numb and oddly the area under my right eye is beginning to go slightly numb. My jawline is becoming more defined and I'm finally able to see my new smile as it will be when the swelling has fully gone. I have to say, I'm not one to be vain but I just can't stop looking at my new jaw in any reflective surface... I'm still in disbelief that I've actually done it and my new profile is just what I hoped for.
Swelling 3/10
Pain 3/10
So that's me for now. I will update next after my one month post-op appointment on July 4th.
Until next time.
Tuesday, 31 May 2016
Final Tweaks and Final Results
It's been a week of mixed emotions. Although I'm beyond excited for my surgery on Thursday, I've had a hell of a week. I've just found out that I got a first in my dissertation, so that set me on a really positive path about everything.
On Wednesday, my uni experience really started to come to a close with my graduation ball. It was an amazing night overall, but one thing that really baffled me about it was that the next time I will see the majority of these people, I will have a new face.
Then I was an idiot and wore the most uncomfortable pair of shoes ever, which led to my foot been tore up and resulted in a pretty nasty toe infection a WEEK before my surgery...
Obviously, this isn't ideal and I'm still taking antibiotics to get rid of it before Thursday rolls around. The positive thing about it was that the doctor was pretty adamant that it won't affect my surgery or lead it to being postponed. However, I'm over the worst of it now and should be fighting fit when I go in.
In other - more relevant news - I had my final ortho appointment before surgery today and had my surgical hooks attached.
On Wednesday, my uni experience really started to come to a close with my graduation ball. It was an amazing night overall, but one thing that really baffled me about it was that the next time I will see the majority of these people, I will have a new face.
Then I was an idiot and wore the most uncomfortable pair of shoes ever, which led to my foot been tore up and resulted in a pretty nasty toe infection a WEEK before my surgery...
Obviously, this isn't ideal and I'm still taking antibiotics to get rid of it before Thursday rolls around. The positive thing about it was that the doctor was pretty adamant that it won't affect my surgery or lead it to being postponed. However, I'm over the worst of it now and should be fighting fit when I go in.
In other - more relevant news - I had my final ortho appointment before surgery today and had my surgical hooks attached.
Please ignore the blurriness of the photo. I put red circles around the new hooks to make them a bit clearer.
I don't know yet how long I will be wearing the elastics that these will be used to hold, but I won't find that out until after the surgery.
So for now, that's all we have to do. I'm completely ready to go with my surgery and the next time I post will be a post-surgery update. EEEEEK! It's so bizarre to type these words, as it's what I've been waiting for, for over a decade!
I don't know when I'll next be feeling up to posting here, but I promise it will be soon!
Until next time.
Monday, 16 May 2016
Blood Tests and Brutal Truths
As I have previously mentioned, today (May 16th) was my pre-op assessment. I met with both my surgeon and a general nurse, and it's fair to say the appointments had some ups and downs.
I entered the Oral Surgery department with the same crippling nerves and anticipation that I usually have and was called in to see my surgeon almost immediately. He proceeded to show me two models of my jaws. One in their current position and one in the position they will be in after the surgery - which was so weird! Even though I could tell they were my teeth, I don't think I actually realised how different they are going to look afterwards.
Apparently he wants to place them in a slight overbite, so when my muscles and jaws settle in to their new positions, they have a bit of wiggle room if they start to move back to their original position. Also, this allows my orthodontist to carry on with my brace work and really perfect my bite and teeth.
He fit two plastic things in my mouth and made sure they fit my teeth - for a reason I don't quite know of. I believe it was a hard version of the warm wax that you bite on when they take impressions of your teeth.
After more measuring and tilting my head in all directions, I signed my consent form and he went on to tell me something I knew was coming, but really didn't want to hear. My surgery may be cancelled as late as the hour before it is scheduled if there are no beds in the ward or should an emergency case need a jaw surgery.
Obviously, this is understandable and expected, but the bluntness of the situation and the fact that it can be so close yet cancelled so quickly has stuck with my all day!
After this I was rushed off to see the nurse to have the dreaded blood tests. Now, if there's one thing that should be known about me and doctors, it is that I don't do well with needles. Having never had a blood test before, I really didn't know what to expect. Although the needle itself wasn't half as bad as anticipated, the nurse decided to take 10ml of my blood BEFORE taking my blood pressure. So as soon as the pressure cuff tightened around my arm, I felt really woozy and my ears started to muffle. Then, I practically passed out in the chair. I tell you... I've never sweat so much in my life. I didn't know so much water was capable of escaping from my body at once...
About a minute later, I was informed by quite a flustered nurse that I had low blood pressure and this was followed by five minutes of her trying to get it back up to a normal figure. Eventually, I stopped sweating and regained some sort of consciousness and was swept out as quickly as I was rushed in.
So, all in all, it wasn't totally unpleasant visit. I got a first glance of my potential new bite and am officially consented! However, the constant worry of it being cancelled at last minute won't leave me until I'm in that theatre!
My next appointment is with the orthodontist at the end of the month, where I will be getting surgical hooks attached to my braces and last minute prep for my op!
I entered the Oral Surgery department with the same crippling nerves and anticipation that I usually have and was called in to see my surgeon almost immediately. He proceeded to show me two models of my jaws. One in their current position and one in the position they will be in after the surgery - which was so weird! Even though I could tell they were my teeth, I don't think I actually realised how different they are going to look afterwards.
Apparently he wants to place them in a slight overbite, so when my muscles and jaws settle in to their new positions, they have a bit of wiggle room if they start to move back to their original position. Also, this allows my orthodontist to carry on with my brace work and really perfect my bite and teeth.
He fit two plastic things in my mouth and made sure they fit my teeth - for a reason I don't quite know of. I believe it was a hard version of the warm wax that you bite on when they take impressions of your teeth.
After more measuring and tilting my head in all directions, I signed my consent form and he went on to tell me something I knew was coming, but really didn't want to hear. My surgery may be cancelled as late as the hour before it is scheduled if there are no beds in the ward or should an emergency case need a jaw surgery.
Obviously, this is understandable and expected, but the bluntness of the situation and the fact that it can be so close yet cancelled so quickly has stuck with my all day!
After this I was rushed off to see the nurse to have the dreaded blood tests. Now, if there's one thing that should be known about me and doctors, it is that I don't do well with needles. Having never had a blood test before, I really didn't know what to expect. Although the needle itself wasn't half as bad as anticipated, the nurse decided to take 10ml of my blood BEFORE taking my blood pressure. So as soon as the pressure cuff tightened around my arm, I felt really woozy and my ears started to muffle. Then, I practically passed out in the chair. I tell you... I've never sweat so much in my life. I didn't know so much water was capable of escaping from my body at once...
About a minute later, I was informed by quite a flustered nurse that I had low blood pressure and this was followed by five minutes of her trying to get it back up to a normal figure. Eventually, I stopped sweating and regained some sort of consciousness and was swept out as quickly as I was rushed in.
So, all in all, it wasn't totally unpleasant visit. I got a first glance of my potential new bite and am officially consented! However, the constant worry of it being cancelled at last minute won't leave me until I'm in that theatre!
My next appointment is with the orthodontist at the end of the month, where I will be getting surgical hooks attached to my braces and last minute prep for my op!
Saturday, 14 May 2016
Before Photos and Recovery Worries
It's now less than 3 weeks till my surgery and the closer it gets, the more antsy I'm becoming. I find myself at silly hours in the morning, searching for jaw surgery blogs and YouTube channels to make sure I'm super-duper prepared for what's waiting for me.
As this past month since getting my date has gone so fast, I don't really know how to grasp the fact that in 19 days, I will have a different face. Even just typing it now and telling my friends about it in person, the meaning of those words really haven't sunk in.
Obviously I'm absolutely bricking it, although it's not the surgery itself that scares me. After having two operations previous to this one, I like to think of myself as quite the surgery connoisseur by now... I've heard a lot of horror stories about the first four days after the surgery. The not eating, not sleeping and not talking is only a handful of the things that worry me about the recovery process.
I guess my worries are quite trivial. For example, I find myself wondering how I'll be able to sneeze, cough and yawn... The pain of swallowing and breathing also plays on my mind a lot. Although the bruising and swelling is different for everyone, I worry that I will still look battered and bruised for my University Graduation in July...
Nevertheless, after seeing everyone's results, I really believe that it'll do for me what it seems to have done for other people.
All this being said, I realise that I am yet to share any photos of my bite as it stands before the surgery. It was quite challenging finding photos where my underbite is visible as after so long, I've managed to find various angles where I can disguise or hide it.
So here is a selection of random photos and specific bite photos to give you more of an idea of what I'm aiming to get rid of. In nearly all of these, you can see how my underbite not only impacts my smile, but my side profile, cheek bones, lips and nose...
As this past month since getting my date has gone so fast, I don't really know how to grasp the fact that in 19 days, I will have a different face. Even just typing it now and telling my friends about it in person, the meaning of those words really haven't sunk in.
Obviously I'm absolutely bricking it, although it's not the surgery itself that scares me. After having two operations previous to this one, I like to think of myself as quite the surgery connoisseur by now... I've heard a lot of horror stories about the first four days after the surgery. The not eating, not sleeping and not talking is only a handful of the things that worry me about the recovery process.
I guess my worries are quite trivial. For example, I find myself wondering how I'll be able to sneeze, cough and yawn... The pain of swallowing and breathing also plays on my mind a lot. Although the bruising and swelling is different for everyone, I worry that I will still look battered and bruised for my University Graduation in July...
Nevertheless, after seeing everyone's results, I really believe that it'll do for me what it seems to have done for other people.
All this being said, I realise that I am yet to share any photos of my bite as it stands before the surgery. It was quite challenging finding photos where my underbite is visible as after so long, I've managed to find various angles where I can disguise or hide it.
So here is a selection of random photos and specific bite photos to give you more of an idea of what I'm aiming to get rid of. In nearly all of these, you can see how my underbite not only impacts my smile, but my side profile, cheek bones, lips and nose...
**Please excuse the state of my skin here. I'm having a very bad face day...**
And here's some random ones where I haven't really tried to hide it...
 |
| Although there's an attempt to minimise my jaw in this photo, it's still really visible and you can see how I can't seem to smile without it showing. |
 |
| This is the only photo of me I've ever found with a side profile. I was clearly caught off guard... |
 |
| This isn't so much about my underbite, but more my cross-bite. Although it's a pretty minimal problem in my bite, it hugely alters the way my chin and lips look most of the time. |
Oddly, clicking Publish on this is a lot harder than I anticipated. It's different to posting photos to Facebook or Snapchat. Here I'm drawing attention to the thing that I try at most times to disguise or hide completely. I suppose it's just further proof that my surgery is really what I need to do to regain a degree of self-confidence...
Tuesday, 10 May 2016
Why am I getting Jaw Surgery?
A lot of people have asked me questions regarding my surgery and each question has too long an answer to tell them there and then. So, I decided to create a blog post for each of the major questions that I get asked on a pretty regular basis.
First things first, I think I should clarify that Jaw Surgery is a corrective, reconstructive procedure - NOT plastic or cosmetic surgery, as 70% of the people who I tell, assume.
Needless to say, having any form of disfigurement, especially a facial one, is difficult. Aside from giving me my self-confidence and esteem issues, my jaw causes me physical problems such as talking, eating, biting and smiling and it has done for years.
When I was 7 years old, I had severe overcrowding in my mouth and I had my first hospital experience, where I had two teeth removed under a general anesthetic - meaning I was put to sleep for the duration of the operation.
Then at around 11 years old, I had braces fitted for the first time to my upper teeth. I only had these appliances on for 10-11 months, as my teeth rearranged themselves quite quickly. However, once they were removed and I was given my retainer - which at the time was a lot less discreet than the clear guards we have these days - my teeth quickly moved back to their original position.
The problem here was that my jaws hadn't fully grown and we were told that an overbite or underbite would be possible after the braces were removed.
Obviously that happened for me, and I was blessed with a lovely underbite. *Note the sarcasm*
Since then, everything has been a shambles. There was constant dentist appointments where I was refused braces for a second time, until I was offered the idea of this surgery.
At the time, my wimpy 12 year old self said a solid 'NO'. No way was anyone cutting into my bones...
My parents and dentist urged me that I might change my mind when I got older and more bothered about my appearance and God, were they right!
As soon as I turned 13 and moved into Year 9 at school, things got worse. I was more aware that my jaw was different to everyone else. Lots of my friends were getting their first boyfriends and all these new friendship circles, but because I was so self-conscious about my jaw, I held myself back. I had a few close friends in school, which actually proved themselves otherwise and showed their true colours soon after. I was left with my two best friends and that was it.
I remember feeling horrible because I felt that I was holding them back from going off and making new friends, but they stuck with me through the entirety of school and college.
I think I should make it clear that I don't consider myself to have been 'bullied' in the traditional sense of the world. People didn't go out their way to make my life a misery, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was called all types of things - Jaws, Bulldog, Ironing Board and even though the names hurt, I didn't blame the people that called me them. I blamed myself because I was the one with the messed up jaw after all. They were just saying what was true.
I got less confident and more miserable, and most of the time, I would pull my scarf or jumper over my mouth whilst walking around school.
It does make me emotional just thinking about how self-conscious I was. Even now that I've gained slightly more confidence, I'm still so aware of my jaw wherever I go.
I try to keep my hair down most of the time, so it hides my side profile and when I have to wear it up, I keep my chin down to my chest to hide my prominent bottom jaw. Needless to say, it's a nightmare!
When I was given the opportunity to have this surgery, I knew it was going to be a long process. Obviously, I was and am fully aware of how the whole procedure was going to work and that it's a pretty major surgery,which will result in me having a few months of pure discomfort. However, the thing that keeps pulling me through is thinking how I'm going to feel afterwards. From every blog and YouTube video I've come across, I know that all the discomfort and few months of my life which will be filled with liquid diets and wired jaws will eventually be worth it. I know I'll be finally happy with how I look, I'll be comfortable with getting photographs again and for the first time, I might even feel confident in myself!
So, that's all I really have to say on the matter so far. I apologize for the cliche-filled post you just endured but I promise the rest of my posts won't be so gooey and sentimental!
I have a pre-op appointment on May 16th, so I will be sure to update soon.
Until next time
x
First things first, I think I should clarify that Jaw Surgery is a corrective, reconstructive procedure - NOT plastic or cosmetic surgery, as 70% of the people who I tell, assume.
Needless to say, having any form of disfigurement, especially a facial one, is difficult. Aside from giving me my self-confidence and esteem issues, my jaw causes me physical problems such as talking, eating, biting and smiling and it has done for years.
When I was 7 years old, I had severe overcrowding in my mouth and I had my first hospital experience, where I had two teeth removed under a general anesthetic - meaning I was put to sleep for the duration of the operation.
Then at around 11 years old, I had braces fitted for the first time to my upper teeth. I only had these appliances on for 10-11 months, as my teeth rearranged themselves quite quickly. However, once they were removed and I was given my retainer - which at the time was a lot less discreet than the clear guards we have these days - my teeth quickly moved back to their original position.
The problem here was that my jaws hadn't fully grown and we were told that an overbite or underbite would be possible after the braces were removed.
Obviously that happened for me, and I was blessed with a lovely underbite. *Note the sarcasm*
Since then, everything has been a shambles. There was constant dentist appointments where I was refused braces for a second time, until I was offered the idea of this surgery.
At the time, my wimpy 12 year old self said a solid 'NO'. No way was anyone cutting into my bones...
My parents and dentist urged me that I might change my mind when I got older and more bothered about my appearance and God, were they right!
As soon as I turned 13 and moved into Year 9 at school, things got worse. I was more aware that my jaw was different to everyone else. Lots of my friends were getting their first boyfriends and all these new friendship circles, but because I was so self-conscious about my jaw, I held myself back. I had a few close friends in school, which actually proved themselves otherwise and showed their true colours soon after. I was left with my two best friends and that was it.
I remember feeling horrible because I felt that I was holding them back from going off and making new friends, but they stuck with me through the entirety of school and college.
I think I should make it clear that I don't consider myself to have been 'bullied' in the traditional sense of the world. People didn't go out their way to make my life a misery, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was called all types of things - Jaws, Bulldog, Ironing Board and even though the names hurt, I didn't blame the people that called me them. I blamed myself because I was the one with the messed up jaw after all. They were just saying what was true.
I got less confident and more miserable, and most of the time, I would pull my scarf or jumper over my mouth whilst walking around school.
It does make me emotional just thinking about how self-conscious I was. Even now that I've gained slightly more confidence, I'm still so aware of my jaw wherever I go.
I try to keep my hair down most of the time, so it hides my side profile and when I have to wear it up, I keep my chin down to my chest to hide my prominent bottom jaw. Needless to say, it's a nightmare!
When I was given the opportunity to have this surgery, I knew it was going to be a long process. Obviously, I was and am fully aware of how the whole procedure was going to work and that it's a pretty major surgery,which will result in me having a few months of pure discomfort. However, the thing that keeps pulling me through is thinking how I'm going to feel afterwards. From every blog and YouTube video I've come across, I know that all the discomfort and few months of my life which will be filled with liquid diets and wired jaws will eventually be worth it. I know I'll be finally happy with how I look, I'll be comfortable with getting photographs again and for the first time, I might even feel confident in myself!
So, that's all I really have to say on the matter so far. I apologize for the cliche-filled post you just endured but I promise the rest of my posts won't be so gooey and sentimental!
I have a pre-op appointment on May 16th, so I will be sure to update soon.
Until next time
x
Thursday, 28 April 2016
Hello
Hello.
Before, we dive in to the gory stuff - for many of the photos to follow on this blog will most likely feature my bloodied up face - let me introduce myself.
My name is Fiona, I'm 21 years old and I have been waiting to undergo Jaw Surgery for 10 years.
I'm currently studying Journalism and English Literature in my final year at university and will be graduating in July!
I wouldn't say I have loads of friends by any stretch of the imagination, but I've done pretty well at surrounding myself with positive people, who have all made a significant difference in my life. (Please ignore the cheesiness - it'll be rare here)
During my school years I was bullied by people who saw my 'messed up' jaw as the root of all my flaws. I've had every name in the book - Jaws, Chin, Bulldog, Ironing Board - you name it... But hearing these insults only led to me having a thicker skin about it, and now it's at the sad point, where I'm the only one that mentions or acknowledges it.
My jaw is the first thing I see when I look in the mirror, it's the reason for my poor self-confidence, it's the reason I grew up in school as the 'weird' one, it's the reason I don't smile in photos, it's the reason I don't like photos at all! Whichever way you swing it, to say my underbite has been a nightmare and a burden is a massive understatement.
For multiple reasons, which will be explained in the near future, I
have gotten my hopes up many times that surgery will be happening soon and shortly after, had them shattered by the orthodontist who stated that my braces hadn't done their work yet, my jaw wasn't fully expanded, my uni work would cause delays, etc...
However, it's finally at the stage where I've had the go ahead and now have a solid date for my operation. June 2nd 2016 will be a landmark date in my life from now on. It's officially up there with my birthday, Christmas and family occasions!
Needless to say, it's been a long 10 years, and so this blog will act as my personal documentation of my jaw surgery as well as a place where anyone else in this situation can find some solace that it will get better and that this procedure will ultimately change their life.
I hope you will continue to follow on this journey with me. I will be posting whenever I can to update you on my surgery proceedings and I will hopefully share weekly updates post-surgery, regarding my recovery and feelings towards the experience as a whole.
Until next time
Fiona
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